"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time..." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11
I will be the first to tell you that I hate North Carolina.
It's not that I think it's a horrible place for everyone, it's just that for me, it's never felt right.
I'm a Yankee born and raised, and my home will always be the great north. (Jersey strong, and all that.)
However, this year has been strange, in that it's the first time I've felt thankful about the move here.
When I take the time to think about it, I have so many reasons to be.
I met my best friend, Rebeca Cassady, only a month or two after I moved here. Right away we bonded over our mutual dislike of the state, not realizing it was what brought us together.
I joined Crossflame Choir not long after that. I have always loved to sing, and it was my first time singing with a group of people who felt the same way. I've been on 3 amazing tours full of so much of God's love, and am looking forward to my one last tour this June.
I started attending community college here. This May, I will graduate with my AA degree at the same time I would have been graduating high school.
I got accepted to UNC Wilmington this month. It's an in-state 4 year university that's affordable, offers my major, and is located in the heart of a town that is full of people doing the things I want to do: writing, producing, and directing film.
I still see my family a lot. My grandmother moved here, and I've gotten to spend a lot of time with her. My aunts, uncles, and cousins have visited quite a few times. We go back up to Jersey every Christmas to celebrate the holidays with them.
Over the 5 years I have spent in this state, I've met so many people who have touched my life in some way. Some of them I hope will be lifelong friends. The rest have either given me something that I needed, or taken something that they needed. Either way it's a necessary part of life's journey, and I'm glad for it.
One of my favorite books of the Bible is Ecclesiastes. It feels so raw and real and relatable to me.
That verse at the beginning of this post, Ecclesiastes 3:11, has never made very much sense to me though.
How could God make everything beautiful, even the horrible life-ruining things like moving to NC?
I have always been sure that this would be the worst time of my whole life.
That I would need to escape this state in order to have a great future. And yet...
In His time.
Not in my time. And in case you don't know me, I am not a very patient person. I've been searching and searching for a way out for so long that I have never stopped to appreciate what I have. I never once stopped to think that maybe God was building up to something much bigger and much more beautiful that I could ever imagine.
I'm beginning to understand, although to picture isn't completely clear yet. I'm starting to see what God's doing in my life. I'm starting to realize that everything is going to come together. Not right now, not when I want it to, but in His time.
And boy, is that comforting.
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding
Obviously, now is not the time for me to leave North Carolina. My family has just bought land around the corner where they plan to build houses and move to in the next few years. I have at least 3 more years here if I want to get my bachelor's in film & marketing out of UNCW. But these are all things that I want!
Good things. I know I will end up living somewhere I feel comfortable and happy...in His time.
For now though, while I'm still in the midst of this long journey, I think I'll take a lesson from Paul.
"For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." ~ Philippians 4:11
(Pun intended, haha!)
